Speak Now
by Seadragon
Summary: “If it was never heard, did it happen? If it was never told, does anyone know? If it is never said, what happens to you? Is that anyway to live your life?” Its Neal’s wedding day, Dom and Kel are front and center. Who knows how much Dom knows. [Comp


**Title:** _Speak Now_

**Author:**_ Seadragon_

**Genre:**_ Angst/Romance**  
Rating:_ pg-13_**_

**Summary:**_ "If it was never heard, did it happen? If it was never told, does anyone know? If it is never said, what happens to you? Is that anyway to live your life?" Its Neal's wedding day, Dom and Kel are front and center. It is a very… emotional day, to say the least. And no one knows exactly how much Dom knows, or guessed._

**Alright, this story quite literally gave me hell. This is the fourth time I have tried to write this story! It turned out a little too sarcastic for my liking, but hey! I tried right? Last time it was too soap-opera-ish, time before that, too humorous, time before that, too depressing. I made myself cry as I was writing. Which is a good thing, but I had to stop writing in order to stop crying. In other words, no good.**

**So, if you don't like it, read my lips.**

**_I don't care!!_**

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**Also, I would like to say that some of my friends and I are going on a hunt for Writer's Block, and are _GOING TO KILL THE LITTLE BASTARD!_**

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**Thank you, that shall be all.**

**Actually, a couple more things.**

**1] The next chapters of _The Forgotten Shall Rise, __Tortallan Truth or Dare, AND, __Trojan (AF), __ME: Trapt (HP), and _Miss Me?_ (HP) Will be posted soon. Before next week (Sunday or sooner). Just for all those who care. (a.k.a.- No one.)_**

**2] I have exams coming up. Starting Wednesday, January the 21st. Thus, I will not be able to write as of Monday, January the 19th, through till Thursday, January the 29th. Starting Friday, January the 30th, _I WILL BE BACK! [Insert evil laugh here] I MIGHT have time to post maybe a _SHORT_ fic at sometime, but most likely not. Again, for those who care. Again, no one._**

**3] I ride. _A lot. Six times a week in fact. Which means I do not have time to write a lot. Which means, _DO NOT SEND ME ANGRY E-MAILS TELLING ME TO UPDATE, WHEN YOU CANT EVEN BE BOTHERED TO REVIEW!_ Because, I _WILL_ ignore them._**

**Thank you, you are free to continue.**

**Seadragon.**

**P.S.- I like reviews. A lot.**

**P.P.S.- Bye now.******

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**_Cut my life into pieces   
This is my last resort, _**

**_Suffocation, no breathing   
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding_**_   
  
_

Domitan of Masbolle, Sergeant in the King's Own, had never particularly liked fancy occasions. Which is exactly how he ended up wondering what in Mithros's name he was _doing_. And then, he remembered. He _had_ to go. After all, it was a happy day. Yes, happy. No, not "Oh I'm so happy, I think I shall go slit my throat now!" happy. Happy, happy. Dom knew he wasn't making much sense, but that had never stopped him before.

Now, he wasn't so upset about this that he was crying, though he couldn't exactly say the same for some poor bloke around the corner. He snorted softly, who could be _sad about Meathead finally getting tied down, and _having_ to stop terrorizing the court ladies?_

He supposed it could be a court lady, for some reason he couldn't even being to comprehend, they actually seemed to _like_ him. It was rather like falling in love with a weed, in his mind.

But never the less, he supposed he would have to go and comfort the poor girl. He had figured out it was a girl by now, no self respecting man would sound like _that. Then again, it could be Neal, or Owen, or Cleon, or Merric. You know, anyone from __that year. He was seriously considering speed walking the other direction, when he heard a sniff, and a couple footsteps. And a door closing. Now he was seriously considering running full out, but stopped when the footsteps started again. Whoever they belonged to had closed and locked the door, and was coming closer and closer._

Obviously, something was seriously upsetting them. Which meant he had to see what was wrong. Which meant he was going to have to change again. He had a feeling someone up there didn't like him.

  
**_This is my last resort _  
  
**

The person rounded the corner a couple minutes later. Dom realized he had been standing in the exact same place for about five minutes now. And then he found himself face to face with Keladry of Mindelan. For about a minute, he just stared at her with shock.

He had never, _ever, heard her cry. Not when she broke it off with Cleon, not when she was wounded in battle. Not even when she was being pounded into the ground by psychotic men on horses galloping at her with long metal sticks. And believe me, Dom would be crying in that position._

So _why was she crying when her best friend got married?_

Dom felt like he was missing a piece of the puzzle or something.

Then, he realized it might be a good idea to say something, not just stare dumbly at her. Unfortunately, his brain was still trying to figure out _why. And he couldn't blame it, but he kind of needed it right then, so that he wouldn't sound like even more simple than usual._

"Y-You?"

_Good job Dom. She's going to think you're crazy now. Oh Wait! I forgot. She already bloody well does!_ Dom would have mentally kicked himself, but he wasn't quite sure how.

  
**_Cut my life into pieces   
I've reached my last resort _**

**_Suffocation, no breathing   
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding   
Do you even care if I die pleading   
Would it be wrong, would it be right   
If I took my life tonight, _**

**_Chances are that I might   
Mutilation out of sight, _**

**_And I'm contemplating suicide_**_   
  
_

All that he got from her was a _very_ brief look of panic, but it didn't spread past her eyes, and disappeared seconds later to be covered by a confused look. Luckily for her, Dom didn't quite notice it. He was too busy trying to figure everything out. And by everything, he meant _why in the name of the goddess was Kel crying?!_

"I'm sorry, what about me?"

_Hah, like you don't know._ Dom thought fleetingly, before letting his brain take over for him again. He looked at her quickly, barely resting his eyes on her before looking away. Her hazel eyes were still red, and there were tear tracks on her cheeks.

He felt like this was something significant, something he was supposed to be able to figure out. Ah well, understanding would come with more information, or so he hoped.

"Kel," He started softly, looking her straight in the eye. "Why were you crying?"

"I wasn't cr-"

Dom just gave her a look. It clearly said, 'I heard you, your eyes are red, your face is tearstained, tell me the truth or I swear by the goddess I'll force it out of you.'

  
**_Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind   
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine   
Losing my sight losing my mind   
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine _  
  
**

"Keladry, I have known you for, what, five, six years? Don't lie to me, I heard you crying. Why won't you just tell me _why_?" Dom was getting frustrated. It hurt to think that she didn't trust him, couldn't tell him what was wrong. It shouldn't bother him so much that she was upset today, but he felt, once again, that he was missing something, something that would explain everything he had ever wondered.

"It's nothing, they were _happy_ tears. After all, today is a happy day." She said it with barely a trace of bitterness, but Dom heard it, and couldn't help but wonder. It was the exact same thing he had thought earlier, that this day was anything but happy. But he wasn't sure why Kel thought that. He had his reasons, for one, no more torturing people with Meathead, for another, he had to get dressed up.

But he doubted Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan would cry about anything like that.

He also knew that Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan wouldn't cry on a happy day.

"It was nothing Dom." She said firmly, and Dom sighed. He shrugged and offered her his arm.

"Time to go then? Allow me to escort you?"

Kel nodded and put a hand on said arm. She was dressed in a most uncharacteristic dress; he supposed Yukimi Noh Daiomoru had threatened her until she conceded. She certainly didn't look _bad_. The dress was green, apparently Yuki had noticed those colors went well on Kel after seeing her constantly in the Goldenlake colors. He supposed the weapons belt was too remind everyone that she still was a knight. Besides that, it was quite simple.

Together, they made their way slowly but surely, into the cause of the not so happy day, why ever that maybe, for each individual.

  
**_I never realized I was spread too thin   
Till it was too late and I was empty within   
Hungry, feeding on chaos and living in sin   
Downward spiral, where do I begin   
It all started when I lost my mother   
No love for myself and no love for another   
Searching to find a love upon a higher level   
Finding nothing but questions and devils _  
  
**

It really was a beautiful wedding. Neither Domitan nor Keladry could fully appreciate it, for different reasons. They had been placed dead center in the front row of the left side, as cousin and best friend of the groom. There was lots of white, and green. It was a wonder the audience didn't suffer from snow blindness.

Well, it was only too much in the eyes of a couple people, both who didn't particularly want to be there.

They were seated without much trouble, and joined by several other people who came to sit it their row. People were constantly pouring into the room, filling seats on either side of the aisle. Among the people in the first row with them was, the Duke and Duchess of Queenscove, the Lord and Lady of Masbolle, two of Neal's younger brothers, the Lioness, Owen and Merric.

Kel was on the inside, with Dom on her other side. She hadn't said a word to anyone since they had sat down. She just sat there, staring straight ahead.

Dom was worried. But he knew she could take care of herself. Or could she? She was always taking care of other people, would she help herself? Or just be miserable? He wasn't even sure what he was worried about. Kel was upset, yes, but about what?

The feeling that he didn't know some _very_ important piece of information was becoming too familiar for his liking.

  
**_Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind   
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine   
Losing my sight, losing my mind   
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine   
Nothing's alright, nothing is fine _  
  
**

Dom felt himself drifting off in thought, when Meathead's incessant nervous chatter reached his ears. It appeared Kel had noticed too. _That's odd_, Dom thought fleetingly,_ she hasn't heard a word anyone has said in the past twenty minutes…_ He shrugged it off and looked around for his cousin.

Ten yards and closing.

He was walking straight for them, seemingly talking to himself. Both Kel and Dom stood up and moved out into the aisle to talk to him. That was better than Neal talking to himself at least.

He flung himself at Kel as soon as he was close enough.

"What am I going to do?!" He cried.

Dom noticed that Kel was standing rather stiffly, and stored the thought for later. He pried Neal off of her and she gave him a slightly grateful look, though he couldn't be sure.

"We can't have you killing your best friend only minutes before your wedding, now can we?" Dom told him casually. Neal gave him a horrified look.

"Minutes?!"

Apparently, Neal was experiencing the pre-marital jitters. Dom patted him comfortingly on the shoulder.

"Meathead, you just need to calm down. Take a few deep breathes." Some may have suspected that Sergeant Domitan of Masbolle was ill, what with being so kind to his cousin and all, if it wasn't for the well placed Meathead.

  
**_I'm running and I'm crying _  
  
**

"Five minutes till!" A herald announced from the open doors at the back.

"Oh goddess, someone kill me." Neal moaned.

"Neal, as much as I would love to, I don't think Yuki would appreciate it. And I don't want her coming after me with a glaive." Dom said, not unkindly.

"Alright. Wish me luck then."

"Luck." Dom said slightly less enthusiastically then Neal would have liked. Neal sighed and hugged them both before hurrying up to the front of the room. He had gone dead white.

Keladry had returned to staring straight ahead, paying no attention to anyone around her. Dom was quite confused. She had never acted like this before. It was obvious something was wrong, but she wouldn't tell anyone, not even him.

  
**_I'm crying,_**

**_I'm crying,_**

**_I'm crying,_**

**_I'm crying_**_   
  
_

And so it began. I didn't think Kel was going to pay much attention, but was I ever wrong. She was certainly paying a lot more attention than I was. And were those tears in her eyes? I ignored it, everyone cries at weddings. It's almost mandatory. And Kel never broke rules, at least, not anymore. I had heard plenty about how much trouble she had gotten into as a page. But, as everyone said, things had changed since then.

Yuki looked stunning, as usual. But I still found myself leaning more towards Kel.

Wait. Stop there.

Did I just think that?!

Alright. I did. Doesn't mean anything. Of course not.

  
**_I can't go on living this way_   
  
**

And then it hit me.

I knew what was wrong. I knew why Kel had been crying. Why she was so stiff. But I didn't know what to do. I don't think anyone would. It hit me so fast, I still didn't know what to think, much less do. But I don't doubt that I am right.

I looked at Kel, I tried to keep the sadness out of my eyes, but I think she saw it. After all, she doesn't miss much. Right now, everything is just so confusing. I know Kel wont do anything for herself now, she'll just pretend everything is alright and live a life full of regret and remorse.

It's hard now. My happiness, or her happiness? And I don't even know if I can make her happy, it could all just fall apart, leaving all of us with nothing.

It's a fine line I'm walking now, and I don't know which way to turn.

  
**_Cut my life into pieces   
This is my last resort _**

**_Suffocation, no breathing,   
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arms bleeding   
Would it be wrong, would it be right   
If I took my life tonight, _**

**_Chances are that I might   
Mutilation out of sight,_**

**_And I'm contemplating suicide_**_   
  
_

Sometime when I was busy feeling sorry for myself, the actual service had started. It was actually quite far along, and I had yet to decide what I was going to do.

This was the kind of decision that you needed years to make, not seconds.

"Do you, Sir Nealan of Queenscove, take this woman, Yukimi Noh Daiomoru, to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, until for poorer or for richer, till death do you part?"

"I do." Neal said solemnly.

I heard a small choking noise next to me and looked at Keladry with concern. No one except for someone who had known her for a long time would have seen anything wrong. Sure there were tears, but as I said, they were almost mandatory at weddings, and she didn't look out of place at all. I think every female in attendance was wiping their eyes, even if not for the same reason as Keladry.

**_Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind   
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine   
Losing my sight, losing my mind   
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine _****  
  
**

They were reaching the point of no return. If Dom didn't speak up soon…

"If anyone has a reason that this man and this woman should not be joined in holy matrimony," The priest paused. "Speak now or forever hold your peace."

A painful silence stretched on, and just before the priest was about to continue, Dom decided, and acted, just like the commander he was.

He grabbed Keladry's arm and stood up, yanking her up with him.

Everyone's eyes were on them. It was deadly silent, no one dared to speak, until.

"Neal, I'm sorry, but I just thought you should know."

Neal looked from Dom, to Kel, to Yuki, to Kel, to Dom, and finally, to Kel again. The look on Keladry's tear stained face told him everything he needed to know.

Everyone stared at them, and Kel slowly nodded, answering the unasked question on everyone's mind.

The priest turned to Neal.

"Should I continue?"

**_Nothing's alright, nothing is fine   
I'm running and I'm crying   
I can't go on living this way _****  
  
**

Neal stared at them silently for a few minutes, then slowly shook his head.

**_Can't go on, _**

**_Living this way   
Nothings all... right._**


End file.
